Name: Ingus Bukshs Age: 30 Nationality: Latg'alien' Eyecolor: Blue-gray Haircolor: Ever changing Sense of humor: Good Speciality: Computers Habitat: Riga, Latvia E-mail: boo@cc.lv Skype: tupunturies Favorite food: Ice cream Favorite verse in the Bible: John 8:32 Favorite Movie: Forrest Gump, Dogma, Braveheart Favorite Music: Disciple, Midnight Oil, Cranberries, Lisa Loeb, Mark Knopfler, Chris Rice etc.

The one and only reason why i didn't do that was my mom. I could not imagine what would happen to her if i would take my life away. So i lived trying to shut my brains off everytime i wanted to think about sense of life. I lived so till the army-time came and what was left of me was smashed in a moment. There i understood what means word Freedom,and what is Humiliation. I spent 81 day in a forest on my own there - i had some time to think again, and i decided to try Success. So after i returned home after 1,5 years i entered what we call evening High School. I finished it very good - with high marks in my diploma. I didn't even have to take exams to enter the University.

After half a year in freedom i had everything i was dreaming of in that d***ed forest. Everything went as planned, but, you know what, it didn't make me feel happy - something was still missing - i thought i'll go crazy - i couldn't figure out what is that what makes man a happy man. Now i came up with a thought that i have to become a better person to feel happy. I tried. Honestly. But somehow i couldn't do that without a more clear reason - nobody noticed that - nobody cared how good i am.

Soon at the University i discovered that i'm not as smart as i thought i am, and, besides, the adored University wasn't what i thought it will be. So i changed it for College. Oh, i was smart enough for that one - i mean i was a normal student there (i figured out how i can cheat on my exams). Because of the busy schedule there i didn't think too much about life anymore, and in the free-time i continued partying.

But then i had to go to a conference at my College where i had to speak English, and i decided to improve my English at Campus Crusade's English Club. And then the huge guy named Ward came into my life without an invitation and started talking about GOD. I didn't pay any attention again. Soon he invited me to a conference where, as he said, will be a DISCO !!! Yeahhh! I liked that :) I asked if i can take some beer with me and he didn't mind. So i had a chance to have a three-day "party" outside Riga - Warum nicht? :)

As soon as we arrived there with my friend Normunds we opened our beer bottles and "didn't close them" till departure. Ward tried to talk with me about GOD again, and i asked him some very difficult (as i thought) questions, after a little hesitation he answered them and the answers seemed pretty clear and logical, but i kept on being a hard-ass and ignored the truth.

Some weeks later i discovered that i can not get rid of what he said - it was so clear. I kept on being skeptical and looked for other questions against the truth. Then there was a huge music festival in town called Valmiera. I drank all night, had some sex, and still couldn't get rid of those thoughts. In the ''morgen'' standing on a balcony half-naked with a cigarette in my mouth i understood that i don't want to live like that anymore and i invited CHRIST into my life. There were no angels singing and nothing was significant about that moment, i spit and thought that i've made an intellectual suicide. I didn't know that, but i was right - the old me died at that day. I was born again in JESUS CHRIST.

I'M HAPPIER THAN I WAS EVER BEFORE - I HAVE a REASON TO LIVE, I HAVE THE BEST FRIEND EVER AND WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT WE HAVE GREAT TIME TOGETHER. I wish everybody would know my friend JESUS.

Believe me, it's a long story about how my new friend has changed my life, but it's a good one.

... about that some time later.

Sincerely HIS, ingus
March 25, 1999